When Your 4 lb Chihuahua Turns Into A Monster

Accepting God’s Will When Your 4 lb Chihuahua Turns Into A Monster

I’ve had a dream for many years of having my own dog. Seeing people walk the sidewalks with their furry friends, and sit in their cars driving along the road with a dog’s head sticking out the window made me yearn for one of my own. And for a long time I wondered if my dream would ever happen due to a number of circumstances. This dream was at the top of my list of wishes for my life. To put it in perspective, a guy once asked me what I wanted in life. And I looked at him and said, “a puppy.” 

He hadn’t expected that one. 

Then after years of waiting and in answer to prayer, a 4 lb chihuahua became available. She was two years old and already house-trained! I brought the dog home, named her “Rosie” and then my life of bliss began. Rosie and I started to do everything together - where I’d eat, she’d sit. When I did my computer work, she’d be resting beside me…she even sat by my keyboard sometimes as I played. I’d pick her up and dance with her around the house.  We were two peas in a pod as they say.

About 2 1/2 months after I got Rosie, she began to change. She began to run away from me when I went to her. She’d scream when I picked her up. She’d hide under the couch if I was nearby. And to top it off, she might try to snip or bite me if I tried to pet her. I was shocked at her sudden change of behavior. And my heart was bleeding. My dream had bloomed and then withered - it seemed as though dead. 

Drawing of Rosie

It got to be so bad that I was anxious in my own living quarters! Was she going to bite me? I took her to the vet and got her checked out. Everything seemed fine. And so we went home. 

Rosie then began to go to my mom in order to be petted. This was like salt on a wound - my mom didn’t even care about having a pet! And could care less about Rosie smothering her with dog kisses. I actually went into grief. To say I was “sad” didn’t even come close to how I felt. It was a wound and I carried it around day after day.  What have a dog that didn’t even like you? Why pay for its vet bills? Why hope it would change? Rosie viewed me as an enemy and I could sense it with every move she made. She turned into a little monster with fangs. It was scary!

I asked my prayer group to pray for my dog and me. And my aunt and parents. I bought her expensive dog food, paid her vet bills and gave her plenty of space. Despite all this, the behavior continued. And I asked God what to do.

He did give me an answer. I felt like He was saying to me, “Just accept her” and “Be alpha.” Her person. It was a way of loving her despite all her negativity towards me. And so I did that. She’d be hiding under the couch and I’d be putting food in her dish or preparing her medicine. 

At some point, I just kind of resigned myself to the fact that she might prefer my mom always to myself and she may never come around to let me hold her like before. I just accepted her just how she was behaving - but doing what I could to love her in other ways - like still buying her food…etc This was exactly what I’d read about in the Divine Will readings. Acceptance. Resignation. Abandonment to God’s Will. God had to be “enough.” I had to resign myself to a situation I couldn’t change - just do my part. 

Through the process I began to realize that I was going to be OKAY. I’d be fine whether Rosie came around or not. God was my Alpha - my security. Rosie’s behavior was on her - not me. Perhaps she had been not treated by previous owners or perhaps it was just her personality…being fickle and timid…I don’t know. ..or maybe she was in pain and blamed me for it. 

There are several quotes in, “The Book of Heaven” about the Divine Will readings regarding the sufferings we experience. One such reading is that we can use our sufferings to medicate Jesus’ wounds. And I sure felt like my sufferings regarding Rosie would be able to help Him!

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October 2, 1906 Book of Heaven | Volume 7

Having received Communion, I felt I was outside of myself and I saw a person who was very oppressed by various crosses, and blessed Jesus was saying: "Tell her that in the act in which she feels as though dogged by persecutions, by punctures, by sufferings, she should think that I am present with her, and that whatever she suffers she can use to heal and medicate my wounds. So, her sufferings will serve to medicate now my side, now my head, now my hands and feet, which are too much in pain and embittered by the grave offenses that creatures give Me. This is a great honor that I give her, by giving her, Myself, the medicine to medicate my wounds, and by also giving her the merit of charity for having medicated Me." While He was saying this, I saw many purging souls who, on hearing this, all amazed, said: "Fortunate are all of you to receive so many sublime teachings – that you acquire the merits to medicate a God, which surpass all other merits in merit - and your glory will be distinct from the others, as is Heaven from the earth. Oh, if only we had received these teachings - that our sufferings could serve to medicate a God - how many riches we would acquire, which now we do not have!"

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So that quote comforted me in that my sufferings were able to help Jesus. 

Moreover, I was also pushed to really abandon my desire for a dog and its companionship to God’s Will. It’s one thing to read about it in the volumes and in the Bible - and quite another to have to sacrifice one’s “Isaac” to do it. Here’s a small quote from Volume 8 regarding how highly God values abandonment to His Will in our souls….

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June 23, 1907 The most beautiful act is the abandonment in the Will of God. As I was in my usual state, blessed Jesus would not come, and I was thinking to myself about which would be the most beautiful act, and most pleasing to our Lord, which might more easily induce Him to come: sorrow for one’s own sins or resignation? In the meantime, He came for just a little, and told me: "Daughter, the most beautiful act, and most pleasing to Me, is the abandonment in my Will – but so great, that the soul would remember no more that her being exists; rather, everything for her is Divine Will. Even though sorrow for one’s own sins is good and praiseworthy, yet, it does not destroy one’s own being; while abandoning oneself completely in my Will destroys one’s own being, and makes one reacquire the Divine Being. Therefore, by abandoning herself in my Will, the soul gives Me more honor, because she gives Me everything I can demand of the creature, reacquiring, in Me, that which had come out of Me. And the soul comes to reacquire that which alone she should reacquire – that is, she reacquires God, with all the goods that God possesses. However, as long as the soul remains completely in the Will of God, she reacquires God; but as she goes out of my Will, she reacquires her own being, with all the evils of the corrupted nature."

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To sum it up, it was a rough past several weeks. But in the end, I was a better person for it. And I’m thankful I went through it because it took my dream off its pedestal. Rosie was great - but life was out of balance if I valued her too much - idolized her in a sense. 

So…I kept going. People kept praying. And amazingly (and I mean amazingly) Rosie gradually started reverting back to her normal happy, shy, tail wagging self. She still hits under the sofa sometimes. But most days she sits beside me on the couch and lets me pet her. I am so grateful!

And I know that I’m gong to be okay even if she turns monster on me again :)